As I reflect on the past few years, I realise that my definition of success has changed. I found myself questioning, by whose standards am I considered successful? Defining the parameters of success have been crucial in deciding what opportunities to take and what paths not to pursue.
Those of us in helping professions, can often feel out of the loop when it comes to what is perceived as a successful and lucrative career. We don’t often travel to big glass offices in the city, nor do we come to work in suits. Does that make us any less successful than the CFO or CEO of a company? No it does not, because success is relative.
It was this realisation that led me down a path of rediscovery and carving out a path that would uniquely suit me. I like nice things (in moderation) and I too dream of living in a big house and having apartments in cities, that I like to travel to. However, money has never been the driving force for deciding what career to pursue. I also know that what I do for work does not necessarily define who I am, as it is a means to an end.
Through my path of self discovery (I’ve been on this journey for over a decade), I understand that I compartmentalise aspects of my life. Thinking that they don’t overlap or are a ‘separate’ part of me. In reality, every aspect of my life is intrinsically interwoven, perfectly, with seasons and purpose.
So whilst I have been in the helping profession for over a decade, that is not the only field I am able to excel in. At the beginning of my career, I would often hear testimonials of people who have had the same role in the same institution for 10 - 20 years. Inside, I would shudder and think how could you stay in one place for so long? That is not to ridicule them for their choices, but I think I’m allergic to complacency (or the appearance of it). I have to be challenged and I have to enjoy what I am doing, if not I mentally check out. That meant that after reaching a mid-management position and holding it for five years, I began to ask myself, what next? I was no longer challenged. Life felt monotonous and the stress was starting to appear through symptoms in my physical body.
Last year, I took a step towards changing the status quo. With the future in mind, I looked for related roles where my knowledge and expertise could be utilised. A year on, I look back and smile at my bravery. I’m appreciative of the years it took to build. I do not underestimate the boldness it took to say yes. Yes, to opportunities that appeared to be a risk. I am grateful for those who went before me, and showed me what is possible when you step out.
This is only the beginning of redefining success and I’m excited for what is to come. I’ll leave you with two memories that came to mind as I was writing today. I hope you begin to expand your horizons and explore the limitless opportunities life has to offer. Leading you to carve your own path, to the life you will love.
I recall, being on a flight to Barcelona in 2014. I was seated next a man in premium economy (free upgrade) and we began to talk. I remember observing him throughout, he looked successful. These were the days where I felt out of place in premium or upgraded spaces! I’m sure he looked at me and also wondered about this twenty something sitting beside him. When we came onto the topic of work, he described owning a business in a field that I had never even considered was a thing… Kitchen Worktops! He shared his successes and how his business afforded him his current lifestyle.
It’s strange how memories can resurface. I am now reminded of a solo staycation I took in January 2021. I wanted to withdraw and spend time alone in order to plan the year ahead. I rented a beautiful space that was an annex on a family property. Imagine the type of area where the postman has to drive to deliver the post because there are no pavements to walk on… and the homes stand alone. Oh and you wake up to sound of cows!
One afternoon, the female host came to help me light the fireplace. She shared how they had decided to build the annex and what had sparked their decision to move outside of London. She confessed that she doesn’t get to use the property as much as she would like, for her own little retreat because they always have bookings! That trip sparked something in me. It made me realise my growing attraction towards countryside living and slowing down (we’ll discuss that another day).
These two encounters remind me of what a privilege it is to discover and build a businesses out of the ordinary. It is a blessing to be able to afford the luxury of slowing down. Being able to enjoy the life you’ve worked hard to build and before the age of retirement! That sounds like something worth pursuing!
Pause.Then.Think… What does a successful life look like to you outside of your career choices?
Song of the Moment: Life Will Be - Cleo Sol
“Praying for that moment and someone to believe in you
Get out your way, cause time won’t wait for y
ou.
Live your life, live your life…”